Fragile Wings
by CupcakeQueen1066
Summary: Clarissa only used to have nightmares. That's alright when your child hood was ripped apart. Isn't it? It was, until Clary's night-terrors happened at odd times. Are they night-terrors? Who's her actual father? Can love overcome darkness again or will it finaly crumble as the odds stacked against them. Can good still overcome dangerous secrets? Can clary come out of this alive...?
1. Dreams

_Pain._  
 _Pain._  
 _Agonizing._

 _Darkness._  
 _Just a bit longer._  
 _Not for long._  
 _Just for a fue more minuites._  
 _Ringing._  
 _Shrill ringing._  
 _My head._  
 _Please._  
 _Help._  
 _I awoke, screaming, to my mother, Daphne, shaking my sholders, an agonized glimmer in her eyes. I expected pain. Agonizing pain._  
 _No pain._  
 _No pain?_  
 _No pain._  
 _'M-Maria? Maria? Please wake up! B-baby girl? Ria! Please hun...' My Mothers cries echoed around my head. Shut up. Shut up. The pain. Agonizing pain._  
 _Awake?_  
 _Awake?_  
 _I am awake!_  
 _Aren't I?_  
 _Glowing._  
 _Light._  
 _Stinging._  
 _Can't look away._  
 _Beautifull._  
 _DEVINE..._  
 _DARKNESS..._  
_

Scrambling bolt upright, I scanned my surroundings. My room? No it can't be! Another glance confirmed it. It had seemed so real. Yet... Daphne? Maria? What? Brushing my damp, sweatdrenched hair back I tried, i honestly tried to put it away, pass it off as just another nightmare. One of the many i get.  
With shaking, trembling legs I get out of my bed. No sleep for the wicked, whisperd my traitorous mind. No sleep for the damned.  
Carefully, to make as light noise as possible so as not to wake Luke and my mum, Jocelyn Fairchild, I made my way to the sloping staircase leading down to the level with my parents.  
Come on. Come on! I thought to my self. If only I could make it down the second flight of stairs, almost th-'Creek'- Back-stabing, unreliable, two faced...  
Carying on with allthese insults I was obviously sending telipathicly to the stairs. I do love some good sarcasm! She said in her mind in a too bubbly immitation of her mothers voice. I do that alot as well.  
Im crazy.  
It's Officialy official.  
Wait. that made no sence.  
Time for a midnight coffee break!  
Nothing. No sound of aproching clatters of feet on the wood and tiles. I do hate the night-terrors. Not nightmares. Worse. I dont wake untill the end. I remember everything. Feel everything.  
_

In the morning, as i got out of my cosy cocoon (that I made out of my black cotten duvet. not silk. Never silk. The texture of sink is just... it sends a shiver down my spine just thinking about it. NOT a nice an apealing. any one else hate the word nice?)  
Placing my feet on the cold, dark wooden floors, i groaned as i clicked my neck because i fell asleep wrighting my fan fiction The Agony of the Mind based on The Killing woods by Lucy Cristopher. My favourite book. I walked to my shower room. No baths, I don't do baths. Never.  
I striped off my cotten, ox blood red pajamas and got into the already steaming water pelting down on the ivory and black tiles, befor dribling in rivers to the small drain at the back of the shower. Stepping into the scalding water i sucked in a breath through my teath.  
Crap.  
Shit.  
Stumbling out of the showers hot rivets, I viciously turned the silver coloured knob.  
Knob! Ha!  
Immature I know but jeez. Laughing i got into the slightly cooler water and sighed. Showers always felt beter after the night-terrors.  
Always.


	2. Dark Stone Buildings

**I would like to thank a fabulous book geek (who would fit in my circle of friends I'll tell you that now) called (on )** **As she helped correct my spellings and if you have checked my account you would know that I'm dyslexic and have trouble spelling. So thank you so much Flora as you have helped me improve the quality of my work. Ill check out your works of pure awesomeness I swear!**

When I went to the Academy -yes I'm a legend for getting in, and yes my parents are rich, no they didn't bribe the place- me and my (least) favourite teacher had a discussion a bit like this;  
Teacher: Clarissa would you like to tell the class what you think of 'Pride and Prejudice'?  
Me: ...  
Teacher: Clarissa?  
Me: Huh?  
Teacher:would you like to tell the class what you think of 'Pride and Prejudice'? *Sigh* And stop drawing.  
Me: I read 'pride and prejudice and zombies' and I think the main characters were the zombies since they were in or mentioned in all the scenes. *deadly serious* It was fantastic.  
Teacher: ...  
Me: ...  
Teacher: You didn't read the book did you?  
Me: ...*pulls sorry face*  
Teacher: *sign* Simon?  
Simon: ...  
Teacher: You as well? Did anyone read the book?  
*everyone other then me and Simon put their hands up...I mean _Simon and I_ *  
Teacher: you two have detention.  
Simon/Me: Nooo. Please!  
Teacher: see you at three o'clock

As you can tell I don't like to do _exactly_ what I'm told. I do eventually which is why I ended up with a book imprint on my face during the (not so) fabulous detention. The dream was horrible again. Gruesome. The worst its ever been which is why I ended up in a Crazy ward of the hospital with Luke holding my hand. I swear I was cold. not scared pshhhhhh *cue fake laughter*.

At home I was trying to make coffee, and I promise machines do not like me, when I got a really bad head ache and collapsed, smacking it, literally full blown whacked it, against the stone work surface and I just curled up in a ball and cried. that's hoe I ended up in the 'Institute' or as I call it 'the institute for both the mentally ill and the teens who are just plain crazy like me'. Its so original I had to explain to my mother that I'm crazy not mentally ill. There is a difference.

So here I am at the dark, Foreboding stone structure that was blanketed in the greenest ivy and brightest flowers of more colours than you could ever imagine. Even me and here I am at the dark wooden door holding an easel the same height as me. that's not hard to imagine though as I'm quite short.

I knocked. the sound echoing through the courtyard. the door creaked open and there stood a beautiful golden-haired boy not much older then me.  
'You must be Clary! I'm Jace! Welcome to the Wacko house.' His voice was beautiful. But I still can not get over door knobs. Jeez who named them.


	3. Sorry Guys!

_**I think I might carry on with Delicate Hearts for a while before I carry on with this story.**_  
 _ **Sorry guys.**_

 **:(**


	4. The Knock On The Door- Jace

Jace's POV

'Why do I have to answer the door again? It's really un fair!' I complained to my foster mother Maryse.  
'Jace, you do it so the late comers don't feel like the worlds against them! Also I have a counselling setion to get to. Again.' Rolling her eyes, she sauntered out of the room.

That was two hours ago. Now looking out of the window of my room I saw a black Land Rover rolling into the pebble courtyard, and befor it stopped I saw a reckless guy with a cap, jeans, combat boots and an AC/DC t-shirt on jump out of the car and go round the back to get out a small bag.

It was when she turned round I saw bright red curls of crimson fire on a ponytail in the back of the cap. _That's one tomboyish person,_ I thought to myself sighing. This was going to be fun. I grinned as I headed to the giant curing staircase leading to the front door.

Rushing down the stairs I heard the front door thud under the weight of a fist. I answered as my usual charismatic self.

Lets put it this way, the red-head was stunning, in only a way someone who doesn't know they are beautiful can pull off. I turned in the charm.


	5. Pictures

Later that day after being given my time table, internet password and equipment, I was In my 'allocated' room even though we, Maryse and I, knew if I wanted id get a different one. the room had slate grey walls with a painting of a beach. I sat there listning to 'Aquarius' by Digital Daggers, staring sadly at the picture until I got the gut to pick the god damn beach off the wall and shoved it into the wardrobe.

Memories. You know what Mum said to me when my brother Jonathan died? 'Remember the good things about the person, not the bad.' but imagine seeing your brother shot by a gang he carelessly angered. Imagine knowing if your brother hadn't of been so... so stupid you would still be 'pure'.

But no! I was raped against a wall, next to my brothers cooling body. The blood running in crimson steams down his face. When you look away all you can see is a beach. All you can hear the noises from your abuser.  
I'll never forget it. That's why people think im ill. I'm not, i just cannot look at men the same. But it does not make me a lesbian, (but I don't hate them for having that sexuality! Why does 'sexuality' have sex in it exactly?)

I got pulled out of the state I was in by the rapid knocking on the door. Of course I opened it but regretted it when I saw a Goldie Locks.


	6. The Puzzle- Jace

Walking to the fiery Clary, I was walking remembering her haunted almost neon eyes. They had a sorrowful yet strong look in them, It made me want to run to the hills, but instead I told my adopted sister, Izzy, that I would walk Clarissa to dinner.

Whilst walking, puzzled and dazed by Maryse's words ('don't mess with her Jace, she's been through more then you know'), I didn't realize I walked in to Kaelie.  
'Hey Jace!' She purred, arms wrapping around me from behind as I tried to carry on walking. 'Where ya' going!' she giggled, one hand traveling down to the front of my trousers as the other wrapped around my chest.  
'I am going to take the new 'student' down to dinner.' I said harshly, pulling away.  
'Aww come on Jace, we can have some fun! She can find her own way to lunch!' she kept getting nearer, hand getting near my trousers. I gulped, hurriedly pulling back as her hand went down to my zip and she started to kiss the side of my neck.  
'no Kaelie! I mean it!'  
'don't be like that Jace.' she was pouting looking like a twat then the goddess she was obviously hopping for.

I took my leave.

As clary opened the door I could see the disappointment etched into her features. But I could think of five things;  
1) She had a good taste in music. It matched her clothes and personality.

2) She was in a single room not a room for two people. Is it something to do with what Maryse said?

3) She had taken the painting down off the wall.

4) She had been crying, her eyes rimmed red and swollen.

5) She was still beautiful. In the way only you can be when you don't know and don't care.

'What do you want Goldie Locks?' she said snapping me out of my shocked state. I realized I had been staring at her. looking I could see how tired she looked, leaning against the door frame, keeping one foot out to stop the door from slamming shut onto her.  
' I, Madam, am here to escort you to the dinner hall!' I spoke in a posh English accent, gracefully putting my hand out to her.

After looking between my face and my hand she gently put her hand upon mine as if it was a rabid dog that needed to be tamed. 'Fine, Goldie.' she sighed stepping out of her room locking it with a key on a string around her neck.

As i took her to the hall, I wondered why she had the one single room, close to my adopted parents room, that locked. But mots of all I thought how her small hand looked so small and fragile in mine. Felt how warm and soft it was.


	7. SORRY!

Writing next chapter! Sorry had to revise for my GCSEs (exams)!

XXXXX


	8. I think Kaelie's got a crush on CLARY!

As I was getting ready for bed in my normal cotten pajamas (personalized with 'SO WHAT YOU ****?!' writen on in bold and **** can be anything you want. Mum wouldn't let me put a list of insults on the pajamas), there was an other knock on my door. Great. I stood still hoping however it was would think me asleep or not here.  
'Clary I know your in there and just standing still to make me think your not there or sleeping. I heard you sing, 'I loved you like a burning effigy, now all that's left is cinders,'  
'Shit.' I stated it in a monotone but my meaning was clear. giggled like a kid.  
'Goldie locks, if you tell any one about me singing I swear ill-'  
'you'll what? Hurt me? short stuff you haven't got the muscles to beat me up or anything!' He stared laughing which made me angry.  
Fuming i pulled the door wide and dragged him still laughing into my room. 'I think you should stop laughing Jace.' He looked into my eyes still laughing then stopped abruptly his eyes widening in fear as he recognised that I wasn't messing around.  
'I wont! I swear! But you are a good singer!' he nodded to himself. You should see Kaelie, she does that kinda thing.' He said. He, honest to God thought I would go talk to the blond bimbo! Ha! And my phycologist though I was insane. Classic.  
'I am not talking to the bimbo with her hands south of the equator on everyone, and I mean everyone. Jeez she was even trying it with... I trailed off, my expression vacant, eyes wide as I remembered everything from just before dinner.

 _'Hey Izzy!' Kaelie's hands were groping at the female, oblivious to Izzy saying that she had a boy friend. And was straight. Kaelie's arms firmly around the dark haired girls waist, one hand traveling lower slowly whilst the other one travelled up._  
 _the girl called Izzy saw me her eyes open begging._  
 _'Help,' she mouthed. I knew i needed to do my civic duty to the nation. But unfortunately I think I gained a friend. Holy mother of Moses and the poop bull poop when eating a nasty bull rider!_  
 _'Umm excuse me?' I asked innocently making my expression shy and scared. I really wasn't. scared threat is. 'Can you tell me where the food hall is?' I aimed it at the both of them yet looking at the dark haired girl._  
 _'Oh! You must be the new crazy! I'm Izzy, you must be Clary?' she said the last bit like a question, pulling herself free from Kaelie._  
 _'yeah i am!' I acted really happy and shy when really I wanted to take my pills and go to bed._  
 _'I'll take you there. Bye Kaelie!'_ And she did take me there and made me sit next to here with her friends. Encluding good ol' Curly Kael  
'Yeah ive noticed to. Was it just me or was Kaelie checking you out all through dinner? By your expresion you either dont go for girls like kaelie, your not a lebian, or youve met her.'he looked at me obviously wanting me to specyfy which one it was.  
'All of the above if anyone asks ive got HIV or AIDs. ' He just laughed untill he realised i was serios. 'You havent though right?'  
'no.. But I dont want anyone, even you- yes Jace i have seen you stairing at my boobs and arse-' I said when I saw his expresion. '-Trying to fuck me or ask me out.'  
After a few minuits of me staring at his shovked face waiting for a responce he said, 'Why 'Curly Kael'?'  
'What?' i said confused.  
'You called Kael 'Curly Kael' and i want to know why.' he replied matter-of-factly.  
This was going to be a long night and honestly, I just wanted to sleep.

 **Why didn't Clary want anyone to know she was singing? Any guesses? Guesses in the comments. The closest ones will have their names in the opening of the next chapter!**

 **XXXX love you all! XXXX**


	9. Wheres the crush? Gone like her pride HA

J PoV

'Okay,' she sighed, 'I called him curly kale since I was going to call him Fucker and bash his face in, he got off lightly. Also I knew how much he like perfectly styled hair and I think I saw tears in his eyes...' She trailed off a thoughtful yet proud look in her eyes. Her lack of guilt over it made me double up in laughter drawing her emerald gaze towards me, her eyes puzzled.

'C-clary!' I managed to get out between laughter, my eyes watering. 'N-no ones e-ever insulted his hair!' Speaking made me double up again.  
'What's he gonna do? The poor sods gonna try to make my life hard? ill make it hard for him to procreate.' I looked up at her and watched as the realization of what she said hit her.

She laughed and neither of us stopped and that's how Kaelie found us ten minuets later.

C PoV

'Sup bitch?' I said before Jace could react. 'Here to collect your cherry flavoured condoms? Raspberry flavoured lube? I had to move it so I put it in the bottom cupboard next to the washing machine since I had to wash some pants covered in... lets put it this way; you know the mistral cycl- wait your on too many pills so... Oh, and yes I put it there in hopes of someone spilling bleach on them! Pesky spermatozoa's get on every thing don't you think?' I trailed off grinning like a mad-woman seeing the expression of shock on the bimbo's face.  
'W-what? I don't have them!' her expression made even Jace laugh. 'Oh I get it! Trying to embarrass me?' her superior expression made smile  
'Did you know, when your embarrassed your blood pumps faster and that opens up your veins creating a blush? No? well look in the mirror blondie!'

As her hand came towards my face mine came up to grasp her wrist tightly, I could feel her bones groaning in protest. See her eyes wide in shock, her teeth gritted against the pain.  
I leaned in and whispered in her ear, 'touch me bitch, and you'll live to regret it. Or maybe you wont live... your choice.' I puled back releasing her wrist.  
'I can see why your here! You crazy psycho! Common Jace you don't want to around _her!'_

'Actually I do! surprise! You had that coming for a long time and Clary's such fun...' his gaze became thoughtful yet exited at his own words.  
'Well sayonara! Say hi to who ever your fucking to night! Bye, bye _darling!_ ' I said walking towards her, Kaelie walking backwards towards the door. 'Bye!' I said cheerfully smiling sweetly, before slamming the door into her face.

Turning around I saw Jace looking at me, rubbing his chin.  
'What? She pissed me off!' I shouted.  
'I can tell.' He nodded as if coming to a conclusion. 'Welcome to the group. We meet every day... Yada yada yada. You get the idea?'  
'Deal!' I grinned. 'You aint half bad Goldie Locks, you aint half bad...'  
'Neither are you Red, neither are you.'  
'Why do we keep repeating our self's Jacey-poo?' I said mocking him with the name.  
'I don't know Clary, I really don't know.' he was grinning so I punched his shoulder, and it wasn't light either.

'Owwwwwwwwwwww, what was that for.' I walked out leaving him shocked and wounded.  
This was going to be fun.

 *** in case some people don't know what spermatozoa is its sperm.  
No one has come close to the reason behind her not liking people listening to her sing yet...  
HINT: Something to do with her brother... ;)**


	10. The Truth

_**The chapter that tells all... Sorry no one got it a few got quite close...**_

 **Clary PoV- 1 year earlier**

 _I was sitting on one of the wooden chairs in Pandemonium, my guitar I like to call 'Jerry'. It has dark wood, ox blood red wood, with stars carved around the sides and 'Morgenstern' written on the back. my brother Jon was next to me sitting and positioning the microphone where I could sing into it._

 _'Now for our favourite siblings... the Dynamic Duo! And why they call them selves that we do not know-' the speakers where blazing and all I could hear was the adrenalin rushing thorough my blood stream.  
'Well me and my sister here, have always been best friends and in school our teachers always called us the 'Dynamic Duo' so it became a thing. I never did anything, it was Clare-bear here putting frogs in the soccer player trows- OWWWW!' He screeched leaving a metallic clanging echeoing around the club, 'Seems my -ughh- beloved sis doesn't like me telling you where she put them. Sheputtheminthefrontofthepants!' The ending he rushed resulting in a glare from me. 'Well best get on with it! This is a cover of ,_originally,Simon and Garfunkel's 'Sound _of Silence'. But of course we're recreating Desterbed's one so... yeah!'_

 _ **I started the opening cords of the song my fingers playing the well known cords of my favourite song. Me and my brother starting singing.  
Hello darkness, my old friend**_  
 _ **I've come to talk with you again**_  
 _ **Because a vision softly creeping**_  
 _ **Left its seeds while I was sleeping**_  
 _ **And the vision that was planted in my brain**_  
 _ **Still remains**_  
 _ **Within the sound of silence**_

 _ **In restless dreams I walked alone**_  
 _ **Narrow streets of cobblestone**_  
 _ **'Neath the halo of a streetlamp**_  
 _ **I turned my collar to the cold and damp**_  
 _ **When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light**_  
 _ **That split the night**_  
 _ **And touched the sound of silence**_

 _ **And in the naked light I saw**_  
 _ **Ten thousand people, maybe more**_  
 _ **People talking without speaking**_  
 _ **People hearing without listening**_  
 _ **People writing songs that voices never share**_  
 _ **No one dare**_  
 _ **Disturb the sound of silence**_

 _ **"Fools" said I, "You do not know**_  
 _ **Silence like a cancer grows**_  
 _ **Hear my words that I might teach you**_  
 _ **Take my arms that I might reach you"**_  
 _ **But my words like silent raindrops fell**_  
 _ **And echoed in the wells of silence**_

 _ **And the people bowed and prayed**_  
 _ **To the neon god they made**_  
 _ **And the sign flashed out its warning**_  
 _ **In the words that it was forming**_  
 _ **And the sign said "The words of the prophets**_  
 _ **Are written on subway walls**_  
 _ **And tenement halls**_  
 _ **And whispered in the sounds of silence"**_

 _After the last cords of the song was played I looked up to see my big brother grinning at me his eyes were green like my own. That was the last song I sung with him. The last song I sung in front of anyone. I should have known to not let him leave. But he died and I didn't even fight a lot. I should have fought._


	11. Brakeing Point

Later that night when I was a dream. The usual dream. The dream where someone dies. So I woke up and went down to the kitchen I now I should of but I was falling back into the hole, the void of emptiness and the catalyst was _that_ dream. But it was like half of my memory, like my mixed memories. Sylvia Vandervalt. That's what he said.

As I reached the kitchen I got a roaring in my ears, not because I was scared but because I didn't want them to know but I wanted tonight to end. I didn't want the guilt or the nightmares. I didn't ask for any of this.

I reached for the knifes.

Five minutes latter I was sitting on the floor my wrists bleeding, creating a pool around me. A warm crimson blanket on the cold white tiles. I closed my eyes, they where getting foggy and I was getting tired. I couldn't feel it, only feel the bliss of knowing that it was going to be the end. I never saw Magnus, Alec, Izzy and Jace walking in. Never saw there horrified expressions. Never heard Izzy scream of Alec shout.


	12. Jace loves going to the zoo to see DUCKS

I woke up in hospital; wondering why I was I hospital actually. I could hear someone, Luke, on his phone in the corner of the room speaking to someone on his phone.  
'Jocelyn! What do you mean you can't see your daughter!? She just tried to kill herself again! No you listen Jocelyn; You've been neglecting to acknowledge her since Jon died, Every time something like this happens you make me sort it out and im sick of it! I don't mind having to help Clary because I think of her as my daughter, Damn it she is! But Jocelyn, I sware to God, if you carry on this way I will get a divorce because, quite rankly I don't want to be with someone who care so little about her daughter!' I herd him hang up and saw him turn to face me.  
'Heard it all?' I nodded. 'Well im sorry, and after your better I'll take you to the zoo or something, and yes I do know your not a child but I also know how much you like to see animals and rant about the poor animals in cages. Any one you want to bring?' he said.  
'Yes.' mu throat was dry like parchment paper, raspy like sand paper and still I listed the names of the people I wanted to bring.

'We had to give you a blood transfusion, since you suffered from a severer loss of bloo-' he was interrupted by my door banging open.  
'Excuse me? Doctor? She doesn't need to go through this! She knows about the loss of blood; she tried to kill her self! Okay? now walk out of this room and go see someone who needs you! Bye, bye.' it was Kaelie saying all of this with Jace trying to push around her. Behind both of them I saw Izzy, Alec, Magnus, and Simon trying to see around them both. Kaelie, after herding everyone ito the room cake over to me and sat on one side and Jace on the other.  
'Hey!' Kaelie was complaining about Magnus crawling up the bed to sit beside me. I tried to sit up.  
'SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHIT!' I yelled, falling down on to the bed, Jace looking at me with concerned eyes. 'Im ok, Im ok. Fucking shit! I always forget about the pain. But shit.' I was panting like I ran a race, when in reality I just really hurt my wrists. Again...  
'Are you okay miss?' it was a young nurse. I put my thumbs up. He left.

After sitting up, with Jace's help, I leaned against my free wheeling bisexual friend, resulting in half my face being covered in a fine silver powder.  
'Clare-bear don't care, Kaelie! She is the straightest person I've ever known! She doesn't want your advances!' it was Magnus.  
'Even though me and clary had an argument doesn't mean that we hate eachother. I love people with spirit!'  
'You know I wasn't joking about the lube... And since it wasn't opened I kept it. Hope you don't mind... WHAT!' after I spoke I looked around me at the baffled gazes.  
'Common raspberry flavoured lube tastes really nice! I checked and it was edible so...'  
'Clary! that was mine I thought you were just really good at guessing shit girl! I think I'm in love!' Kaelie was being overly dramatic.  
'MINE!' Growled Jace pulling me away from Mags. 'You cannot take my favourite pers-'  
'No wait..'  
'Clary's mine you bastards...'  
'what are you all on about...'  
'EVERY ONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!' I screamed, ' I know im every ones favourite person, but jeeze im sorry guys but im Mags... Jace I love you and all but me and Mags have something you will never have with me. Im sorry but me and Magnus are meant to be together, we're the bestest of friends im sorry.'  
'Every one looked heart broken, but soon perked up when I said that I told Luke who I wanted to go with me to the zoo.  
'Zoos have DUCKS. Things with out souls are DUCKS. you can never trust a DUCK!' Jace said so I shuffled off the bed onto his lap and said;  
'Don't worried Jacey ill protect you from the mean DUCKS.' I imitated his voice for ducks. His face though. Oh my God.


	13. Well that happened-sexualsounding dialog

'I cannot believe you completely screamed at that zoo kee-' it was Kaelie.  
''Animal Kidnapper,' I corrected.  
'Animal kidnapper, for the animals being kept in those cage-'  
'Cells.' I corrected again.  
'Cells. He was completely freaked!'  
'You keep talking I will bash your face in and hate you and your skanky ways again!' I threatened menacingly.  
'You love me really!'  
'No I don't. At least the animal aren't abused. Touch wood!' I hurried, jumping up to try and hit the branch of a tree we were under.  
'Clary you want help?'  
'Yep!' I'm a midget alright?!  
'Common Clary! That's it! Ohhhh Clary again, Oh God Clary, I can't keep doing this its too hard.' She was grunting from pushing me high up in the tree.  
'Kaelie, I swear to god, if you stop now ill never forgive you. Ohhhh Just a but more Kaelie! Im almost there! After hitting The branch panting, Kaelie dropped me; both of us fell over from the shock. Strangely _she_ ended up on me and her head where no head should go on me! (unless its when I want.) her hand was over my boob.

Looking up I noticed Goldie lock and he three bears (Jace, Alec, Magnus, and Izzy).  
'Don't let us stop you!' He said eyes wide staring at the top I didn't know ripped on the branches.  
'Clarry, Buiscuit, You touched wood again didn't you?' He was being deadly seiruis and ,both of us, looking at Jaces face burst out laughing, ending in tears as my ribs hurt.

'Clary? Are you okay?' Jace came over no longer staring at me. Kaelie was looking at me with a worried expression.  
'Well, Jacey Poo. That seemed like a good idea at the time. But any way I think I might of broken my ankle.'  
'Ummm, you think? A good guess?' This was Alec.  
'Well I can zone out pain and I don't realize until later its happened before. Don't even ask.'  
'Does this hurt?' Jace walked to my foot and , kneeling down, poked my ankle.  
'FUCKING WHOLY MOTHER OF CRAPPY MALTEASERS AND MARS BARS WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU FUCKING NOBY DICKISH FUCK FACE? FUCK HELL!' I screamed.

After calming down I saw Jace looking at me worried. 'Well now I don't think that we'll have to worry about telling Maryse...' I Noticed her running towards us, her expression very, very worried.  
'What did you do ja-'  
'Actually ma'am, I fell out of the tree and Jace, good intensions of course, poked my fucking ankle to see if it was broken.' I interrupted.  
'Well then, what where the results?'  
'Well I did start screaming... so... WHAT DO YOU THINK!'  
'Ill phone an ambulance and your mother.' She started walking away.  
'There's no point phoning her Ma'am. Just phone Luke.'  
'Your Mothers the one who signed the documents, clary. Legalises.'  
'You really think shell care?' Maryse knowing the answer, didn't reply. 'That's what I thought.'

Later that night walking into the food hall with jace and magnus helping since im a clumsy mother fluffer. I shouted, 'Hello my dearies! I am back from the great whit room of the hospital! Who missed me!?' No reply but any faces trying not laugh. 'Well we all know you did so... You may be wondering, 'Clary are you dunk?' But no I am not. And now im going to search for a Snicker to 'Gets some nuts' if you get what im saying.' wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.  
Magnus, cheeks red bless his nit so innocent soul shouted, 'I DONT KNOW HER!'  
'MAGS, WE ALL KNOW YOU DO.'  
'SHIT!'

sorry about all the dialogue guys. LOVE YA YOU DRUNKEN BEAUTYS! yes this is me I have just bean eating a shit tone of ginger bread men ;) yours faithfully, CUPCAKEQUEEN 1066 (fucking hell, almost put my actual name!) Me and Winxfan wave made a joint account for no reason but we didn't want to write together together but separately together so ... check it out  
CupcakeFan1066 is the name fanfic is the game... that is so going to be my catch fraise plus my American readers can you tell me reason why the new deal was a successes and failure since that's a course work question for my GCSEs? pretty please with a cherry on top? LOVE YOU! 


	14. Dark Truths

_'Victoria?' It's a middle aged lady. 'Vicky? stay with us please!' she was sobbing._

 _I looked down and saw a petite dark skinned girl my roughly my age._

 _BEEEEEEEEEEEEP_

 _The heart monitor was speeding up._

 _BEEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP_

 _I was watching someone dying and I could do nothing to help._

 _Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!_

 _The monitor gave one last beep until doctors and nurses came in. the picture already fading._

 _Victoria Veldeci_

I woke up scared, I woke up surprised. Gasping I went to my computer to convince myself that it was just a dream yet knowing, somehow all these dreams where real.

logging into my laptop, I looked up Victoria Veldeci and it came up with a news paper article.

 _'Victoria Veldeci, 17, was fatally wounded in a hit and run incident on Brokenhurst road late last night. Police are asking foe any information that can be used to help catch the culprit._

 _Detective James Carstairs, said on behalf of the police departments working onthis case, 'Who ever ran down this girl, needs to be caught as we believe that it is in relation to other cases, Charlotte Xanders, Nima Briggson only a few in the on going case regarding these hit and run incidents.''_

I shouted out as if someone had squeezed my heart. it hurt. _it hurt._

I heard voices outside my door shouting at me to open the door. but my heart hurt as did the rest of my body. I ached, I hurt. I cried.

I had my jumper sleeve in my mouth between my teeth as I sat on the floor, shaking and rocking forwards and backwards. Distantly I heard y door slamming open and a pair of petite yet strong arms pulling my odd the floor.  
'Clary I need you to ca...Clary why where you looking up...Clary answer me please!' I only heard snippets of the convocation yet my gaze became focused on a certain golden haired boy being restrained by Alec.

'Sup Goldie?' I said, crying. he broke out of Alec's grasp and came towards me, he came forward and held me as I cried.

'Clary you need to tell us why you looked her up? Do you know something?' it was Maryse again. Still stubbornly trying to get answers.

'Ma-Maryse I had a dream and she was in it. All of those people where in _them!_ '  
'This has happened before?' I nodded. 'Everyone out!' She suddenly shouted.

'Im not going mum.' they glared at each other both stubbornly refusing to back down.  
'Please Maryse?' I whispered and her, realising it was futile, nodded stiffly.

'Clary im not going to lie to you and say that your over reacting because we both know you aren't. But you have to go back to normal okay?' I nodded. ' Good. your brother and biological farther had these as well. Do you remember Jonathan's nightmares?'  
I remembered back to a few years ago.

 _'Hey Clarey-berrie! Im okay! I promise!' he looked at me sadly and somehow at the same time lovingly. 'You want to stay with me?' I nodded. I was twelve so it was years ago and we still stayed with each other to give us both comfort.  
'Its gonna be ok Clare. It's gonna be okay.' he said kissing the top of my head._

I thought he meant his night mares but know I realize he didn't. 'I dint think...?' I said questioningly. at her black face I said, 'He meant he knew I was going to get them?'  
'None of us knew then Clare but your brother kept saying you where. Looking back you had all the signs! a fear of being near water, you where already showing slight depression even at the young age. Once you said, baring in mind you where three, 'Its a shame thing die. Life can be here one minute then pass in the next and people don't even realize it.' I believe since you took after your mother it didn't help since you contently projected your thoughts onto paper.'

'You expect me to act 'okay'?' at her look I brake down in tears snorting like a manic person. 'Fine. No need to be a bitch about it!'  
'CLARY! how dare you im doing this for you.'  
'She does have a point Mum. Plus she never said you weren't doing it for her.'

After Maryse left Jace stayed with me and we both fell asleep on my bed listening to 'Sarcasm' by Get Scared. Who knew you could go to sleep with people screaming and not wake up? I didn't... well not until then.


	15. Darker Pasts

J PoV

When I woke up there was someone nestled in my arms Breathing silently only sniffling every now and then and sometimes sighing. Looking down I saw crimson curls tangled around a beautiful face. Clary...

As I brushed some hair off of her face her eyes opened, the irises a vibrant emerald colour. 'Hey.' I whispered 'you ready to go to breakfast?' She closed her beautiful eyes And shook slightly fro trying to hold back tears.

'After silently crying, getting my top wet, we finely got up to go to breakfast and I went into my room to get dressed. Thinking about the beautiful broken girl my heart seems to yearn for

C PoV

After Jace left my reason for being up diminished, as if it went with the golden, handsome guy my heart seems to actually like for once rather then my body. Im not say my body doesn't want him im just saying I not just being a whore this time. This time you may ask? Long story it involved a bit too much Russian vodka, curtesy of my Russian friend Vasalisa and her brother Ivan, and a couple and id rather not talk about it. Put it this way it would be better suited to be on a porn website. im not saying I didn't enjoy it though...

Well as I was saying, I was so upset I decided to just sit on my bed and felt tears fall down my face until I decided to pull out my guitar from under my bed and started playing Monster by Meg and Dia. after finishing I looked up to see Alec standing at my door mouth wide.

'OH MY FUCKING GOD! Your from that duo I was wondering why I recognised you but you looked do god damn different with your brother! I loved you two and I may or may not of had a crush on your broth-'  
'Hes dead.' I interrupted in a mono tone. 'He died just after the concert in Pandemonium and no one gave a shit. I don't sing infront of people and if you think about telling people about me I will rip off your dick and burn it along with your nutts.' he stared at me eyes wide.

I haven't sung in front of anyone since then. I don't think I ever will.


	16. hothothot

Sorry guys! especially you red envy since you are an awesome! well anyways I got a B over all from my science GCSEs! whoop whoop!

Love you and soooooooo soooooooo sorry *does adorable Puppy eyes and gives you a MaltEaster bunny* just telling ya shipshipshipshipshipship

warning sceens of intence stuff but no sex or liking or fingering or anything too physical athough ah just read. (will say *cough cough* and again at the end of hot sceen)

CPOV

Walking to therapy, I held my burning wrists to my stomach, basking in the glory of the pain that came from inside them.

'Clary! I couldn't see you at lunch and I figured you missed out on breakfast so I brought you a- Clary? why aren't you looking at me?!' Magnus swirled me around to face him, holding my wrist making me hiss though my teeth. He pulled up my sleeve despite my other hand grasping at his wrist. 'Clary?' his voice broke. Coughing to clear his tear logged throat, he grabbed hold of my upper arm and pulled me towards Maryse's office. 'I cannot believe that you did this again... again Clary... why?'

Reaching the office I heard voices, the voices of Jace and Maryse. 'Im sorry Maggs... Really.' And me being the pathetic weak person I am broke down and cried.  
'Clary this cannot go on!' He rasped trying to be the strong one. 'I don't think I can take you doing this any longer!' it was then that I realized the voices in the office had stopped and at the door where Jace and Maryse, staring confusedly between us.

'Clary? what's wrong.' poor Jace doesn't realise how messed up I am. how broken. How pathetic.  
'Noth-' r  
'CLARY WHAT THE FUCK! MARYSE-' suddenly he stopped and took a calming breath.'-Maryse, she's been hurting herself again...' he trailed off tears finally rolling down his cheeks leaving trails of glimmering water behind. isn't it weird that tears are so beautiful, yet so so sad?

I felt like I kicked a puppy. Jace was that puppy. suddenly I felt so guilty, 'Ja-jace im so so-ory pl-please forgi-ve me...' I managed between gasping cries. my heart was beating fast, my head was pounding. I felt so dizzy, like I couldn't find a reason to stay awake. I didn't want to. then I passed out. head hitting the soft carpet with a thud.

JPOV

My beautiful tortured angel. I was sitting by her bed, a doctor had come in an hour ago to cheek on her and said it was stress and anxiety that made her pass out, he also ran blood tests, leaving us waiting for the results. Suddenly I felt slight pressure on my hand, like when you wake up and clutch at the quilt a bit tighter. I felt my body tugged down to be lying next to Clary, her vanilla scented hair smelling odd on her as you'd expect it to smell like strawberries. I looked into her open eyes before properly laying on the bed.  
'Hey Angel. you almost tugged me off the chair you know?'  
'Oh I know. it was a little bit of a disappointment not seeing you on your ass!' with the word _ass_ she pushed me off the bed unexpectedly, leaving me stunned on the floor, her laughing her but off.

getting up I tacked her onto the bed straddling her legs and tickling her till she begged me for mercy.  
'J-J-J-Jace ple-ahhhh pl-ease stahhhhhp. Nahhhhhhhhooooo.'  
eventually I stopped. looking into her beautiful eyes. then I looked down to her pink-nude lips, soft and delicate.  
'C-clary?' I said.  
'Yes Jace?' her breathing was heavy, heaving pants making her chest gently brush mine, leaving me a shivering mess of a player.  
'C-can I... can I kiss you?' her breath hitched, she stopped breathing until she reached one slender hand to the back of my neck and entangled the other in my hair before tugging me down and kissing me passionately. grinding her pulsating hips towards mine making me groan into her hungry open mouth, giving her the access she desired. that I craved. I slowly pulled away and rested my head next to hers, panting.

'Clary? will you go out with me I whispered into her ear. I felt her turning my head before say the words that made me shiver from unrestrainable hunger.'

CPOV

'Yes Jace. I am yours, everything I am. and trust me, its not something Id give lightly.' I felt him shudder as my lips lightly brushed his ear as I whispered in it. 'Im yours Jace. Make me yours.' I whispered the words that were his undoing.  
'Im yours clary and I will make you mine.'

His lips ran to the corner of my eye kissing is softly before traveling slowly down leaving wet kisses in his wake. I felt his lips at the joint of my colour bone and neck as he sucked and nibbled at it possessively, making me moan.

*cough cough*

'Jace...aghh... please!' I begged. slowly I felt his arms go behind my arched back, his hands going to the hem of my top tugging it up slowly and lifting it away from my body. as he slowly kissed his way down my body his wet tong leaving shiny trails down my stomach.

'You should eat more clary' he said in between kisses. before carrying on to my waist band, I felt him grinning as my hips arched at the feel of his hot breath on me. 'Well... someone's desperate.' he said grinning up at me, pulling my jeans gently down my hips, the frigid air making me shiver more than I was already. I felt his hands undoing my bra as he worked his way up, my hands and mind too occupied with taking his top off. I ran my hands up and down his toned back and stomach before sucking and biting on his neck feeling him harden even more against my pants(panties(sorry for ruining the moment my dears)). as I ran my hands to his waist band he whisperd, 'Not tonight clary. tonight is all about you.' I could only nod.

he slipped off my bra and kneeled in front of my legs and tugged me till my legs were hanging off the bed as he slid my pants off deliciously I felt him nearing my core.

*cough cough done*

JPOV

I woke up, clary once again nestled in my arms as I replayed last night, her taste her moans, my name on her lips like a plead, begging me for more as I pleasured her, the night listening to her pants. after wards nestling her into my arms and coving her with the quilt as she slowly drifted to sleep, tired from the orgasmic night she had.

I couldn't help but grin.

Angel is not so much an angel...

CPOV

I awoke to the feeling of a face pressed against my neck as it faced away from the person. Jace.

I remembered last night as he put my needs before his own. my smile died down as I remembered that I didn't deserve him. but I was selfish I wanted him not just physically but on an emotional and spiritual level.

I wanted to live...

I wanted to feel...

I wanted to love...


	17. well guys i love thee new chapter!

CPOV

The next afternoon the sun was streaming through the billowing curtains, and I was laying with my one true love on the bed... NOT Jace... raspberry lube and vanilla icecream. Don't ask.

'Clary, I need help...' I heard Jace whisper through the door.

'Jace? Come in... Jesus...' I muttered, digging back into the ice cream.

'Clary! My hands are full here! HELP ME!' He whisper-yelled at me through the door.

Rolling my eyes I tumbled off the bed, grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around my sholders. Opening the door, what I saw left me wordless.

* * *

JPOV

'Clary? Clary! Oh my God! I broke my girlfriend!' I didn't know that Karen would surprise her that much! Jeez!

'Jace? Why do you have a GODDAMNED KITTEN!' she yelled before I rugby tackled her into the room.

'Clary! Help! I found her in a box by the side of the road. It was raining and she was so skinny and sad, I didn't want to leave her!'

'Jace, you have got to get rid of that cat! No matter how cute she is!'

'Clary, just help! Please?' I said, tears brimming in my eyes.

...

'Clary, I cannot believe you said that you ruined my life!' I shouted, resulting in her rolling her eyes.

'All I said was she was going to be called Doll NOT Carol.'

'IT WAS KAREN YOU SELFISH DEMONIC-' I shouted.

'Say the last word and I will shove your dick down your throat!' she said calmly, a murderous glint in her eyes.

'-duck.' I finished

'Let's just wash her. I think I have some Johnsons' in the cupboard.'

After filling up the bath a couple of inches, Clary carefully picked up the cat and slowly scooped handfuls of water and let it dribble into the cats matted fur, mumbling cutely, saying how much of a good girl Doll was.

'Jace?' She asked, squeezing the shampoo onto her palm.

'Hmmm?' I said, staring at her loving expression.

'I don't want to get rid of her.' she said, surprising me

Later that night we were in her room laying on the bed next to each other, Doll playing with a rope Clary said she used to tie her jeans. We lay there until I felt her head fall onto my shoulder and felt Doll roll into a ball on Clary and I's lap. And all I thought of until sleep claimed me was was about my beautiful girls: my wonderful Clary and our kitten, Kar- I meant Doll.

Im sorry guys.

i know im pathetic and you guys dont love me any more and probably no ones reading this because who does?!

But ill always love you

especialy you a- i mean winxfan *laughs nervesly* please donnnnt hut mieeee


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